Barbara Becker Holstein on Recapturing Your Girlhood Truth
(Author of The Truth, I'm 10, I'm smart and I Know Everything)
Copyright ©2006 - 2007 Sure Woman.com

Barbara Becker Holstein

R emember that confident, full of vigor and insightful, little girl you were while you were growing up? The one that wasn't afraid to speak her mind, had dreams that were bigger than her horizons and backyard. The one to whom life held so many promises that you intended to keep because you were full of hope. For some women, that little girl disappeared well before they even hit puberty. Their confidence and wonderment wained and dreams slipped away. But, sometimes all it takes is remembering that little girl that you used to be. Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein's new book, The Truth, I'm 10, I'm Smart and I know Everything captures the heart and mind of an 11-year-old girl, who reminds us to revisit the girl within and retrieve the wonder and fearlessness with which we looked at the world. For girls and grown-up girls wanting to know the truth.

Your new book, The Truth is the diary of an 11-year-old girl. You say that girls at that age have tremendous wonder and wisdom that makes them confident and full of life, when do they lose that spark?
The research shows that they loose a lot of that spark by the time they are 12-13. By the time girls are in high school, few are willing to invest the energies necessary to display their talents and brains in school.

In your 20-something years of work with women in your psychological practice, you said that you've learned that women forget the truth. What is the truth?
The Truth is a sense of one's own talents, strengths, potential, capacities and even wisdom. The Truth may vary for each of us, and it should as we are all unique-but the gut sense of recognizing and being able to use one's own special gifts is something that many women are no longer in touch with. Often this wisdom has been replaced by feeling unsure, insecure, discouraged and even worse, sometimes depressed and not functioning up to one's abilities.

Who's this book written for?
This book is written for women and girls, ages 11 thru teens. Girls of 9 and 10 can read the book, but I would suggest they do so with their moms or grandmothers, as there are many concepts introduced and I want to make sure that younger girls have a chance to ask and questions they need to, and also that moms can screen out certain pages if they wish.

What can women and young girls take away from the Truth
Here's what women can take away from THE TRUTH: It is very important to get reconnected with the passionate, fun-loving side of yourself. Be true to the real you. Don't get lost in the hustle and bustle of life. If you are like most of us, you probably made promises to yourself when you were young and had innate wisdom about how life should be lived. Honor those promises and remember your wisdom. Even if you can't do exactly what you promised to do as a kid when you grew up, at least honor, treasure and remember the realizations about life that you once knew. Be truth to yourself!

Here is what girls can take away from THE TRUTH: You can be understood. The 'girl' speaks some of your wisdom and ideas and you can see that you are not alone. You are full of talents and potential. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Be in love with yourself and treasure who you are. The best is yet to come if only you stay connected to your own wonderment!

We live in an age where there are messages coming from every direction, some of which is negative and devastating to self-esteem. How can mothers help their children to never forget their own truth?

Mothers can help their daughters never forget their Truth by taking several important steps:
1. If you are a mother, recapture and live your own Truth. Your daughter will forever be grateful to have a mother who is authentic, excited about life and someone to be proud of. Also you will become a great role model for her.

2. The second way to help your children is to applaud and celebrate their talents, interests, potential, strengths, abilities and even coping skills. Don't make fun of them and help them to keep all these special parts of themselves alive!

Part of your work focuses on memory retrivial, going back to happy and positive memories in order to gather strength and confidence. In a way, that is what you are saying about The Truth, that women need to revisit their childhood and remember their strength and capacity for dreaming about all the things they wanted to be?
I am saying that women need to remember their strengths, their capacities to dream and to remember who they were and still are supposed to be. Revisiting childhood with the 'girl' can help the woman reader get back in touch with the clever and alive girl that she once was. She can get a thrust again of that early energy. She may get it simply from reading THE TRUTH. However, she may get even more of a connection to her own energy sources by intentionally sifting through her childhood and finding her early talents, her dreams, her potential, her funny moments again. That will be somewhat up to each woman reading the book. However, I have questions at the end of the book to help her reconnect with herself.

How can embracing our own truth help us lead better lives?
When we embrace our own Truth we are alive with energy and vitality. We are on fire with all the plans we need to do and the things we want to learn and the people we want to be with. Life has meaning and purpose and there is no time to loose, whether that means taking a vacation or doing work. So of course, when one feels upbeat, energized and full of purpose, the quality of one's life will be better.

Copyright ©2006 - 2007 Sure Woman.com.

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