Negative self-talk is a woman’s weapon of self-abuse. Negative self-talk is just the microphone of our negative thoughts. We say what we believe to be true. Negative thinking has put many a woman in a position of victim.
9 Powerful ways to Renew, Revolutionize and Reprogram ~
By Norka Blackman-Richards
M
ost of the women I know are self-abusers. They constantly tell themselves that they are getting old, they are not pretty, they are too fat, their current relationships will never improve, they will never find a good mate, they will never get out of their dead-end jobs, they will never be somebody, and on and on they go.
Negative self-talk is a woman’s weapon of self-abuse. Negative self-talk is just the microphone of our negative thoughts. We say what we believe to be true. Negative thinking has put many a woman in a position of victim. And, a victim is always at the mercy of others. This is why whenever we choose this position we become helpless and powerless.
Nevertheless, the most dangerous side-effect of negative thinking is that we do become what we think and say that we are. We all become the products of the mental images we entertain about ourselves. In other words, our negativity becomes our reality. Although our external circumstances do play a part in affecting our actual situations, please note that our current reality has more to do with our internal dialogue than with any external factors.
Therefore, we can largely blame ourselves for 90% of what is happening in our lives right now.
Where do we get negative thoughts? From parents and other social groups in which we interacted that were not nurturing and affirming enough during childhood. And, as adults a society that continues to tell us that we can only receive affirmation if we have achieved certain standards of wealth, education, beauty, and fame.
After battling with my own negative thinking for years I have discovered that it can and will keep one down. Negative thinking can create a huge wall of regression and stagnation in our lives. We never get ahead and never see our way through, although we are working hard, because we have not prepared our mind for progress.
But, I’ve also discovered that negative thinking is reversible. Yes, we can all regress negative thinking. It was written in the Bible eons ago: “Be ye transformed by the renewing of the mind” (Romans 12:2). We need a mind transformation, in other words we need to renew, revolutionize, and reprogram the way we think.
Here are 8 practical ways in which you can begin your personal revolution today:
1. Affirm yourself daily – An affirmation is a short positive empowering statement declared in the present tense. Note the key words here are: short, empowering, and present. In other words, to affirm yourself you should not say: “One day I will become.” No, you need to claim it right now: “I am!”
2. Choose how you will feed your brain - Plan your daily inspiration carefully. Remember that whatever you feed your brain with -be it people or entertainment – it will feed and nurture itself on it. Choose wisely. Listen to, read and watch only those things that will move you up to the next level. Anything that does not fit that requirement avoid it by any means necessary.
3. Don’t depend on others to approve of you – Stop feeding and depending on the approval of others – approve yourself. People, even those closest to you, might never approve of you and they might never affirm your progress - you must come to terms with that. Their non-approval and non-recognition should never ever stop you from affirming yourself.
4. Stop entertaining pessimistic negative people – Those people in your life that only have sorry stories are impacting your psyche, particularly if they are family. Don’t entertain their negativity. Listen to them, but don’t take it on. If you do, they will bring you down. And don’t listen to them for hours either because they will end up making you a believer. These people are going nowhere because they honestly believe that their situations have no remedy. If you entertain them they will bring you down too.
5. Practice forgiveness – The number one killer of positivism and good thoughts is un-forgiveness. Holding on to grudges and resentment is like feeding your mind with poison. You are literally drinking the poison and hoping that the other person will die. It’s suicide. Learn to love people unconditionally because people will fail you. They are human.
6. Refuse to think certain thoughts – Yes, this is possible. Remember that you have the control of your own mind. You decide what goes into it and what it will think. When negative thoughts about you threaten to invade do an about turn and find a mirror. Once you are facing and seeing yourself in the mirror affirm yourself.
7. Rehearse your success – It has been proven that positive imaging as opposed to fantasizing can help to push you up another level. The difference between both is that imaging makes you envision real possibilities. On the other hand, fantasizing deals with what you wish but will never truly be. You need to visualize yourself in the place you want to be. If for example, you consistently create an image of yourself in a successful relationship, or career you will also see the things that you need to do, and will not compromise, in order to get there.
8. Pray and meditate- Wait! Before you skip over this one it is your most important step. If you are a believer you are probably saying: “Yeah, I know”, and if you are not you are thinking: “Religious yadah yadah.” But psychologists and brain researchers are saying that prayer and meditation work wonders for the brain. When you pray and meditate you are putting your mind in a state of self-empowerment. You are strengthening your faith in the belief that while you cannot now see it, you are most certain that it will happen. Remember that what your mind visualizes is converted in reality. Take time out daily to empower your mind - pray and meditate on promises, proverbs, psalms, and inspiring quotes.
9. Eat brain food – The mind-body connection is the body’s most powerful link. Experts believe that we can eat food that will feed our brain and thus improve our memory and abilities for retention and analysis. You’ve been hearing that spinach, peppers, peaches, wheat products are a good for your body. But, did you know that they also feed your brain? Maximize their intake. Read this article from The Franklin Institute The Human Brain - Diet & Menu to find out how and what to eat to feed your brain.
© Copyright 2006, written by Norka Blackman-Richards
Norka Blackman-Richards is a member of the National Association of Women Writers. She is an educator, a writer, a full-time minister’s wife, and a sought-after motivational speaker for women. She is also the founder and president of www.4realwomen.com & www.4realwomen.com/espanol
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