You started writing around your 40th birthday - how did writing transform you?
I was working as a residential real estate broker-associate, and God didn't want me to be in real estate, so He sent me a string of really crazy buyers and sellers...I called a good friend and said, "What can I do? I have no college degree. All my experience was in real estate, and I'm done with that...She said, "if somebody told you that you were going to die in two years, what would you do?" I heard my voice say, "I'd write a book and try to get it published." That was news to me, but when I heard it, I knew I'd finally figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up!Then I discovered that my husband of thirty years was engaged to a stripper and had spent all our money. Surviving that experience convinced me to write funny books with a heart for women like me who are facing the challenges of midlife.
Like the women of The Red Hat Club and The Queen Bee of Mimosa Branch, you've gone through divorce, a career change and other life crisis, how much of you are in these books?
All the characters in my books, including the first-person ones, are fictional, figments of my imagination. But for the first-person characters, I take the fictional situations and filter them through my own perception, so there's always lots of me in the characters, even when they do or say things I would never, ever do. The same goes for the other characters in my books. They don't exist, but they're archetypes, or representatives, for certain classic personalities and types of women: the happily married wife, the woman who takes her good husband for granted, the angry rebel who tries to fill the emptiness in her life with all the wrong things, the lost soul, the perfect corporate wife who ends up getting cheated and replaced with a chickie-boom, and the sweet little Goodie Two-shoes who's silently been abused and secretly compensates in amazing ways.
How did the Divine Secrets of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood inspire The Red Hat Club?
That book showed me the power women have to help each other when we don't try to FIX each other. But the dark undertones were really hard for me to take when I was going through my own dark time, so I decided to write books with hope and humor on the same theme that were a little lighter.
Your characters are flawed, strong, vulnerable, middle-aged and very real - with varying universal personalities that it doesn't take a Southerner to recognize the familiarity and the realness of these fleshy women. Is that why women feel such a responsive chord with these characters?
These characters represent types of women we've all known in our lives. They don' t have to be Southern. I get e-mails and letters from all over the country telling me my characters remind my readers of themselves and their friends. People--male or female--don't come in perfect. We come with quirks and faults and crazy-making compulsions. I try to make my characters a reflection of all the amazing diversity in my generation and the challenges we face.
What kind of women are reading The Red Hat Club books?
I have been pleasantly surprised by the broad cross-section of women I hear from who enjoy my books: Baby Boomers, college students, young mothers, teenagers (!), military personnel, Red Hat Society members, book club members. Daughters and mothers and grandmothers are enjoying the books. I think they're drawn to reading about women who don't tear each other down. And they like the humor. I believe humor is one of God's most wonderful saving graces. It certainly helps me get through life.
The books are about sisterhood, women connecting and inspiring each other, but what stays with the reader is that although life and love may betray you--good friends are forever. It seems to be a tribute to women and friendship.
I have three wonderful sisters and a mom on whom I can always rely for help, encouragement, and "Poor Babies." (No reasoning allowed when we need to whine.) Even when I've messed up royally. They showed me what real friendship means.
Traditon Number 1: "The Do-over" where the women get to change anything that takes place between them - such as a bad attitude or words taken the wrong way - seems especially important in a group of strong-minded women. Do you think that "The Do-over" is the secret to a lasting friendships?
I asked myself what women do to mess up their friendships, then I made up the twelve sacred traditions of friendship. Holding grudges is so destructive to relationships, but we women tend to do it. That's why I made this up, taking a leaf from the little boys on the playground who duke it out to get the anger out of their systems, then make up as best buddies and leave their differences in the dirt.
The Red Hat novels and The Queen Bee of Mimosa Branch, all have characters who after thirty years of marriage find themselves divorcing. They now have to stand on their own two feet. Is it about self discovery and finding the strength you never thought you had and, most pointedly, that there is life after divorce?
With the divorce rate as high as it is, I knew I wasn't alone in my plight. But the very thing that I thought was the worst to ever happen to me (besides finding out my only son had liver cancer) ended up being the best. I was living in an illusion that I had concocted about a marriage and a man. Once I discovered the truth, I was shattered. But starting over in reality prompted me to share my journey with others. And I'm happier than ever, now. I hope my ex is, too. Once all the dust cleared, he got back on track and married a precious friend of mine. I wish them every good thing.
Nothing seems to be off limits when a group of women who've known each other for a long time get together...there is the warmth of familiarity, trust and most of all laughter. Does The Red Hat Club remind women of what a joy it is to laugh?
I certainly hope so. For me, it was laugh or die. I had to grieve, first. But then, there comes a time to get out from under the covers and face life, which rolls right on, with or without us. The Bible instructs us to laugh with those who laugh and mourn with those who mourn, so there's a balance that friends can offer each other.
In Traditon 12, weight is never mentioned or implied." It's like saying, 'I've survived mid-life, and I now have the grace to accept me as I am. Do you think that most fifty somethings have made peace with celluite and back fat?
I can't say I've made peace with mine. I'm all for women doing whatever they want or need to do to feel better about themselves, or doing nothing. I just think that talking about it gets SO boring. I hate my saddlebags and tummy, mostly because they make it hard to find pants. I had to try on 55 pairs, (I counted!) of black pants to find some that looked decent the last time I had to get new ones. That is so wrong. (Don't get me started about the wretched clothes out there for real-women bodies.) I don't like my imperfections. But they're like no-account relatives: they're there, so I might as well get used to them and figure out a way to be happy anyway.
The characters in your books, no matter how flawed and devasted they are - grow and evolve... we see them transform and find their purpose. The message here clearly is that it is never too late to start over - that as women, we have the power to change the things in our lives and reinvent and empower ourselves?
I've learned some very difficult but transforming lessons through suffering:
God's lap is always there to climb up in, even when you beat on His chest and cuss like I did.
Only pain brings change.
Everything isn't my business. In fact, most everything isn't my business. : )
Nobody else is responsible for my happiness.
There are things I can change, and things that I can't. I have to focus on the things I can and let go of the rest.
I can be right, or I can be happy.
I'd rather be made a fool of for thinking the best of people than considered wise for thinking the worst.
The Red Hat Club women are reminiscent of Bridget Jones - only they've been there, done that, and they are wiser. Is it "Chick Lit?"
A wonderful book reporter for the Atlanta Journal Constitution dubbed my books "Hen Lit." I like that.
Have you been reading anything inspirational in Women's Fiction lately?
The sad thing is that, now that I'm writing, I have very little time to read fiction.
But I do make time for regular Bible study. What an amazing, exciting book the Bible is...Also, when I'm writing, I make a point of not reading in the genre in which I'm writing, just to make sure I'm not subconsciously influenced by other writers' work. But there are exceptions. I have just read a fellow St. Martin's author's advanced reading copy that I loved: Blame It on Paris, by Laura Florand. She's a real talent. And Deborah Smith has always been a favorite author. I love anything she writes.
Ladies of The Lake. When is that coming out?
My next book will be WEDDING BELLES, out in 2007, about weddings then and now, mothers and daughters, and mothers-in-law, good and evil. Midlife and marriage were never more fun. As for LADIES OF THE LAKE, St. Martins will probably release that one after WEDDING BELLES. And I'm working on three more. Wish I could write as fast as y'all can read!
Copyright ©2006 Sure Woman.com/Dawn Prince
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