W
hen we get married at a young age, we believe it will last forever. If you look at the divorce rate you will see that unfortunately for some, as time goes on, that happily-ever-after turns into a nightmare and suddenly you find yourself heading to divorce court. But all is not lost because there is still plenty of love in the world and who says you can't have more than one prince charming?
I was one of those women who got marriage in my early twenties. I was head over heels with someone I truly believed was the man of my dreams. But in hindsight, what I discovered was, my first marriage wasn't built on a foundation of love. It was "lust" right from the start. Unfortunately, when the passion started fading away, we realized there was nothing else we had in common. Many young people tend to confuse lust for love and fall into the trap of letting their emotions take control of their logical, rational thinking mind.
Isn't it interesting how differently we think when we're young as opposed to when we grow older and wiser? When I look back over my younger days, I realize I spent way too much time craving the WRONG man for all of the RIGHT reasons. I wanted to feel love, to be loved, and to give love in return but the sex clouded my judgment in making sure I was choosing the right mate. Can you relate? How many times did you ignore someone's red flag warnings because you were head over heels in love with the "idea" of being in love? How often did you justify or simply overlook his or her faults and irresponsible behavior because you were so sure they would change?
Then what happens to your happily ever after? Mine ended abruptly in divorce court and I spent many days and nights trying to understand why I let myself get into such a mess. But thank God for maturity and wisdom! Once I wiped the tears away for good and took off the blinders, I began to see what it really meant to be involved in a meaningful relationship.
One of the beautiful things about growing older is it gives us the benefit of wisdom. That, in turn, allows us to make smarter choices. As for me, I'm smart enough not to believe in love at first sight anymore. One reason being, I don't see quite as well as I used to. I'm also smart enough to be more discriminating in my taste. I've learned how to weed out the imitation from the real thing.
So now I'm happy to say God has blessed me with a new love. He's a man who's strong enough to deal with my strengths, yet gentle enough to understand and cope with my emotional stress and strife. I'm totally enjoying my second marriage and yes, it makes lusting after him even better!
Is marriage really better the second time around? As one who falls into that category, I say absolutely! I'm very excited and feel blessed to have been given another opportunity to love again.
Beverly Mahone writes about dating again at midlife in her book Whatever! A Baby Boomer’s Journey Into Middle Age. Visit Beverly at
Talk2Bev.com.
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