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Life By The Lapel ~ By Terry Chartier

Five years earlier, one beautiful September morning, I met my co-worker at the ferry terminal and we were ready to commute to our jobs at a risk management firm located in lower Manhattan. There were hundreds of commuters on their way to work besides the both of us. We weren’t prepared for what we saw. The sight was disturbing. The loss was astounding.

What I lost that day besides my boss, co-workers and friends. I lost my self-esteem. I rapidly gained weight due to depression and an overload of prescription medication. I was becoming a former shell of myself. What held me up was the kitchen floor that I sat on dwelling in despair. I found comfort in food. Breakfast, lunch and dinner were all carbohydrate driven. My bad food habits were made worse because I didn’t exercise. I suffered through grief and pain as four years went by.

I wasn't feeling any better. I was still overweight. I didn’t have the strength to exercise. The constant chatter in my mind was negative. I started to think to myself I was a person with dreams, friends, life and love to give. I was creative. I was self-sufficient. I was witty and charming. These descriptions of me were accurate however I didn’t feel like me. My mind started questioning: Could I hold myself up? Could I be creative? Am I self-sufficient? Am I witty? Am I charming?

My search for myself began. I decided one Sunday afternoon to just drive that might give me a sense of direction. It was fall and the leaves were changing. I felt like I need a change too. I took the last exist before the New York Thruway, and drove through the small town of Suffern, New York.

Suffern was my destination for the afternoon. I decided to park on the street, get my body out of the car and take a walk. I walked up and down Lafayette Avenue the main street in Suffern. Walking cleared my mind and looking at the change of season was helping me to change my outlook. As I walked toward the mini strip of stores I noticed a store sign said Personal Growth and Gift Shop.

My self-esteem started to grow. The words personal growth sounded like I can find answers and direction or some type of guidance. I was willing to take a chance. I was on a quest for answers and direction. The store had a spiritual and mystical feel. There were chimes, incense and candles decorating the window. Spiritual books written by everyone from Maya Angelou to Eckert Toll. Spiritual guides of all kinds lined the shelves. Spiritual messages and answers in one shop. The sales girl behind the counter asked "Do you need any help?" I replied "Just looking, thanks!"

I noticed a small girl with glasses came out of one of the back rooms. She was a spiritual adviser who was there that day. She walked out with another woman. She thanked the woman and she said she would see her again for the next reading. I was wondering what was going on. I said to the woman behind the desk "I would like a reading." The young woman overheard me. She guided me to the room where the reading would take place. She gave me a reading that was quite spiritual. She advised that maybe I should get a life coach and reinvent myself. I thanked her for the reading and left.

I analyzed the word REINVENT. What would it take to reinvent myself? I drove home in the afternoon and started thinking my questions. Could I hold myself up? Could I be creative? Am I self-sufficient? Am I witty? Am I still charming? I felt as though I had finally found some direction. A reinvention was in the works. In order for this reinvention to take place, I would need to set goals. I had to admit I needed help fast. Since the spiritual advisor suggested a life coach. I think I would have to search for one to help me put my reinvention into action.

The next day I walked home from work, I walked passed the kiosks that aligned the street in my town. I noticed a flyer on the kiosks. LIFE COACH in big bold letters. I looked up for the first time in a long time and found the word LIFE jumping out at me. I booked an appointment with the coach and decided to set some goals. An hour session revived the way I thought. The coach and I set goals both professional and personal. My outline included goals and actions to bring those goals to fruition.

I hired my life coach. My coach and I outlined goals as well as an action behind the goal. One of my goals was creating a writing portfolio I can use to start a resume business. My personal goal was to loose weight. I created an action behind the goal. The action was to start walking three days a week. Our weekly sessions catered to what direction I wanted to take my life in. I became more focused and my self-esteem increased. I was reinventing my former self. My search for answers took a new direction.

I found the answers in myself. I found the direction that I needed. It took five years after that September tragedy to realize that I didn’t need the floor to hold me up. I remembered I can hold myself up. I am creative. I am self-sufficient. I am witty. I am charming. I found that I can now take life by the lapel and go with it.

Terry Chartier work is a currently ghostwriting a memior. She believes in following your dream no matter how long the journey. She resides in New Jersey.

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