Mary Lee Gannon Tell A Friend About Us:

Starting Over at Any Age

O k, so you want to make some changes in your life but those changes scare you a little, invigorate you a lot and the ambivalence can sometimes paralyze you. You just don’t know if you can make it work but you know you have the energy to make a difference. What you don’t realize is that you have already been through this before and succeeded.

How you met these challenges head on is exactly how you will overcome any new challenge. Remember the first day of school, the first day of scouts, the first day at camp, the team try outs, going away to college, or starting a new job? You weren’t sure if people would like you or your book bag. You couldn’t count on getting played a lot in every game. You didn’t know if the lonely feeling of standing out would dissipate to reward.

How you met these challenges head on is exactly how you will overcome any new challenge. First you taught yourself how to accept the situation. And once you could cope, you strategized for better success. Acceptance comes first so that your emotions aren’t in the way when you need to plan. And planning is imperative for success.

Does This Sound Familiar?

Meredith and Jessica are third graders who are standing in line at the bus stop.

Michael shows up and cuts in front of them just before the bus opens its doors. He scales the steps two at a time and beats them to the last seat on the bus where the girls have sat every day since school began. Michael throws his elbows up over the seat in front of him, leaning forward with a Cheshire cat grin. “Got your seat!”

Meredith stands up straight like she’d swallowed a poker. “Bus driver! Michael Miller just stole our seat.” She stomps her feet to the back of the bus, pointing at Michael. “He cut in front of us in line and should go to the principal’s office.”

Jessica watched the bus driver sip his coffee from one of those coffee shops that charges more for coffee than her lunch costs. She slides into the seat in front of Michael. “Meredith, let’s just sit here today.”

“No way! That is our seat.”

More kids file onto the bus and bus starts to pull away from the curb.

Meredith is jostled down in the seat next to Jessica and lets out a sigh that would have put the big bad wolf to shame. “I hate that Michael Miller and I am going to tell his homeroom teacher what he did as soon as we get to school.”

He pokes his face between them and bellows, “I’m so scaaaaaaared.”

Meredith starts twisting the key tags on her backpack until one breaks off.

Jessica opens her backpack and starts flipping through her flash cards. There is a spelling test first period and she kept getting “consume” wrong last night when she was practicing.

Who Do You Want To Be?

Meredith is not able to accept the situation – she is not able to find peace. Michael is controlling the situation – playing his own game. The bus driver is disinterested in the situation – he quit the game early. And Jessica chooses not to let having to change seats get in the way of what she needs to do – study for the test. She is the only person peaceful enough to move forward.

It is very easy to get distracted from your goals with emotions that really do not have anything to do with where you want to be.

Jessica realizes that the energy spent on fighting for a certain seat on the bus does not have anything to do with where she ultimately wants to be. She wants to get an “A” on the spelling test. Meredith probably wants that too. But fighting with Michael is easier and probably fulfills an emotional need that she has either to control or to be heard. Either way, fulfilling the emotional need is not going to get her an “A” on the spelling test.

It is very easy to get distracted from your goals with emotions that really do not have anything to do with where you want to be. People do this because it is easier than focusing on something that is more intimidating – your own accomplishments. You can fail at reaching goals. You can’t fail at arguing. Anger is easier.

Know the difference between your emotions and your goals. Get your own negative emotions out of the way so that you can get on with success.

Case in Point

Mary Lee is living proof that anyone can turn his or her life around quicker than you would think. At the age of 35 she was a stay at home mother with four children under seven-years-old and a self employed husband. She had an allied health degree at which she was making $27,000 a year when she left the workforce to raise her children. She was in a difficult marriage and filed for divorce as a leap of faith.

A few months later she realized an overwhelming avalanche of litigation and anger that resulted in her and the children going from living in a lovely residential suburb to being homeless, carless, and hungry. They went from the country club life to losing their home and poverty all within a few months.

She realized then that she was going to be the one to provide for her and the four children and had to figure out a way to do that. Public assistance was not the way she wanted to live her life. She had done the big cry and a lot of asking, “Why me?” but that got her nothing but more paralyzed with fear.

While her children were young, she had done a lot of writing for organizations where she had volunteered and decided to send clips to the local metropolitan newspaper. They hired her as a freelance reporter and she went on to write for a number of other magazines, news and professional publications. From there she earned a certification as an association management executive and went on to be a self employed public relations consultant, business writer, and then a trade association executive director, all work she did from home.

When she needed adequate benefits for herself and the children after the divorce, she decided to enter the corporate world. She taught herself how to network, write grants and other skills and then went on to be the executive director of a foundation. Now at 47 she is the President and CEO of a large foundation after only having worked full time for roughly seven years.

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