I have a confession and with spring officially here I have decided to come clean and rid myself of things that bother me. I am doing this in an attempt to become a more honest person and live the life I want. For years I have accepted the fact that we spend a great deal of time communicating to one another over the phone. After all, we can only do so much e-mailing and text messaging. But I can no longer make myself miserable and succumb to my pet peeve which is talking on the phone for an excessive amount of time.

I realize that phones have become like accessories today, and soon we’ll be sporting fully equipped Star Trek outfits requiring only a single touch on a triangular spot to connect you to a two way conversation; talk about the ultimate hands free convenience, and yet I will still hate talking! Specifically I hate the kind of phone talk involving a friend or family member that seems to either go no where or worse yet generates a rehashing of stories thus causing the recipient unbelievable stress and wanting to pull the plug, or flip the phone, or simply hang-up!

Again, I need to preface this with; I’m not a sociopath! I do have social skills and sensitivity, but talking ad nauseam is not one of them! I prefer to take the phone when I can offer a quick reference, advice or help. And have you noticed that the very same people who enjoy talking for endless amounts of time on the phone have some sort of hearing deficiency? I have mentioned numerous times that I hate talking on the phone, short of wearing this sentiment on a t-shirt, I have let it be known that I don’t do the one hour mindless talking or gossiping on the phone, and yet those that choose to call me think nothing of ignoring how I feel about this and keeping me on the phone with what I refer to as the “forced conversation”.

Just tell me what’s on your mind, is something bothering you, are you calling to make a plan, what is it, get to the point! I do not like philosophical phone conversations either; I prefer to have these in person over a large glass of wine. And speaking of whine, I am a certifiable whiner and so once someone knows which buttons to press, I will hear myself complain and within minutes morph into a miserable, agitated and irritable person. A side of me, I am hung–up over and wanting to change.

There should be a certain understood code of respect when about to contact someone to talk to on the phone. A caller should right off ask “is it a good time to talk”? There may be times the circumstances are not quite ideal; you might be interrupting dinner or some other valuable activity. Wink wink! Please do ask! After it’s been established that it is an optimal time, do vocalize a set time limit, mine would be 15 minutes tops, if I say I have that much time, you have to accept this, tell me what’s happening in that respected time frame and do not exceed it. And do not use this time to tell me something you just told me a day, a week ago, an hour ago, unless you have a medical condition that precludes you from knowing that you are doing this.

In the meantime, please accept me the way I am. I never was nor do I desire to become like that Foghorn Leghorn who displayed an utter indifference to his listeners with his non-stop talking and blabberbeak. No siree, I will never become a gabber, a cackler, a chatter, in other words a magpie, so please when phone talking to me just get to the point and say good-bye!

Back To The Cover       Wendy's Foibles

When not working as a secretary for the prestigious McGill University, Wendy Reichental spends her time writing about things that irk her and wishing she could do this full time. In addition to enjoying writing, she enjoys giving her husband a good foot workout as she is a bonafide reflexologist. She holds a B.A. and Diploma in Family Life Education from McGill University.