Wendy & Mom When not working as a secretary for the prestigious McGill University, Wendy Reichental spends her time writing about things that irk her and wishing she could do this full time. In addition to enjoying writing, she enjoys giving her husband a good foot workout as she is a bonafide reflexologist. She holds a B.A. and Diploma in Family Life Education from McGill University. Tell A Friend About Us:

I Married a Sleepy Man
By Wendy Reichental

L adies, I implore you before you decide to say "I do" and cross the threshold to eternal bliss, do me a favor and see how your man answers a couple of "do you" questions that will be addressed here later on. They say "sleep is one of the body's most mysterious processes", so too, is finding a good mate and making that relationship work. It starts like it always does, you meet the man of your dreams or the next best thing and you date for awhile. Slowly you pigeonhole him as one of those really good guy almost nerdy types. Sure you catch yourself dreaming about that sexy take charge aficionado who will whisk you away on a white horse like in that movie "An Officer and A Gentleman", or climb a fire escape to get you even though he's freaked about heights, like in "Pretty Woman" but then someone snaps their fingers in front of you and you snap out of it and realize this "is as good as it gets"! (Yet another movie reference, last one!)

And so you marry your man and over the years you start to anticipate every action or as in my case inaction your partner makes. He's still that same wonderful dependable guy with a wink in his eye, only now looking back; you might wonder maybe that was just his eyelid struggling to stay open and hoping to catch a wink! I - ladies - married a sleepy man!

My husband is always trying to remind me that I knew he was this way when we were first dating. I beg to differ. Back then I was so excited to have a real boyfriend, I thought that watching him nap on a Sunday afternoon was equivalent to a level of such enviable intimacy that I never thought to question it. I assumed it was a positive sign that he could be so extremely comfortable with me that he could let himself go and contently doze off, what could possibly be more romantic than this? So question number one on your "ARE YOU A SLEEPY MAN" questionnaire should be "What do you most enjoy doing on a Sunday afternoon"? (a) Watch a football game with the guys, (b) rent several chick flick movies that you will watch with me while rubbing my feet or (c) take a nap? If your man chooses (b) by the way, give yourself five extra points and then continue to keep a close eye on him for any other alien intruder tendencies!

After we got married, I started noticing that he started falling asleep more often, especially after we'd come back from an outing. He would head straight for the couch and with the remote controls on his chest, he would be asleep and snoring before I could even remove my shoes. I felt like a dog that had just been walked and now expected to go away! Initially I let it go, blaming fatigue or the weather, all reasonable explanations for his sleeping. But as the years went on, this habit became more frequent and more annoying to me. So, interrogation question number two for your prospective dream partner should run like this "You've just come back from a brisk run, once inside what do you most feel like having"? (a) A cup of coffee, (b) a long hot and steamy shower and insist that I join you? Or (c) a nap? Once again, give yourself extra points if your man chooses (b) and honestly just discontinue reading now and let us know where the heck you found him!

I know there are numerous serious sleep related illnesses. Thankfully my husband doesn't have any of these. Unfortunately, this also means that there's no remedy either. On the one hand I accept that he works hard and is entitled to feel tired but on the other...there are elderly men in rest homes that are more active and sleeping less! The irony is that I'm the one left frustrated and restless, while he's all calm and quite relaxed. Then unexpectantly, on a day when I was feeling particularly distressed about his napping habit, a friend turned to me and proclaimed, "He's always coming home after work, and has said there's no one else he'd rather be with than right next to you sleeping", I'd say you have nothing to be bothered by"! You know what ladies? She's right! So if your man selects "napping" on whatever evaluation you choose to give him, I'd say make your bed and live with it, if that's his worst trait, you've got yourself a keeper and a perfect "sleeper" in the very best sense!

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