A Father's Love
I
was 12 years old when my brother Eusi was born. Carrying him on my hips, I was like the little mother who fussed over her child. I changed him, fed him and protected him. I even pretended that he was my own baby. So it was strange for me when at 20, he suddenly became a father and was toting around his own child. From the day my nephew was born and for the first 5 years of his life, my brother was his sole care giver (with my mother's help). He made and kept doctor's appointments for immunizations, kissed "boo boos," changed diapers, dried tears, got up for 2.a.m. feedings and loved that little boy as both mommy and daddy.
I admired how selfless, loving and committed he was to my nephew, but I wasn't prepared for the instensity of his strength and perseverance when the toddler's mother illegally took him away. For almost 5 years - my brother played detective, followed leads, fell apart, found hope, regrouped his resilience and emerged - against all odds - as someone who stood up for his son and what he believed in. In a system that favors women as the primary custodian in these sort of battles, in my nephew's absence, he was given full custody. The judge was impressed with his persistence and the manner in which he was living his life. She wasn't short of great things to say about my brother.
Some day, when the trauma of my nephew's experience has lessened, I plan to tell him how much he's loved by his father; how valiantly his father fought for him; how much of himself his father gave to get him home; how far he went to have him tucked safely in his bed at night. I plan to tell him how my brother spent the 5 years he was missing never giving up hope and holding onto precious memories of a beautiful, sweet-cheeked, little boy who had love and open arms for everyone he met. I plan to tell him how his younger brother loved him even before they met, because his father kept him close for all those years.
Many Father's Days passed and my heart silently broke because I knew of my brother's quiet pain. It took awhile to get my nephew home, and now he has a younger brother who clung to his big brother from the very second he laid eyes on him. To see my brother with these two, lovely, well-adjusted and well-mannered boys makes me shake my head, alot of times, in disbelief. I have memories of "my little" brother sliding down the stairs on his bum in his superman pajamas with the feet. Recently, I returned from spending a week with them, and I am slowly beginning to let go of the little boy that I used to know, and I am beginning to look upon my brother, Eusi, as a man and a father of exemplary character. I see you. I see you as you have arrived - a man and a father.
Copyright 2008 © Dawn Prince. Not to be reprinted without expressed permission.
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