Life is Meant to be Scratched and Chipped
W
e're all guilty of "saving up" or keeping things for "special" occasions or tomorrow - not using the good towels, the pretty writing paper or the good china as if the moment we are in is not special enough. Case in point - my 86-year-old friend Madelaine had a liquor cabinet full of wine and liqueurs that she considered to be the best and had held onto over the years, in hopes of that special moment where she could break open the seal.
When she passed away, around 50 bottles had to be poured down the drain because they'd spoiled. In all the years I'd known her, I'd never seen her open one bottle to celebrate anything. Turning 80 would have been a good time to open one of her special bottles but the time was never ever good enough. I would always ask her what she was waiting for. Why wasn't today special enough? She'd always answer me that the good liqueurs weren't meant for everyday use, they were for celebration. I'd always say, "But it's today that we're living in, you're here now. Your're 86 years old, how much longer can you wait for that special occasion? You can't save things up and not enjoy them, or what is the point of having them."
One of my grandmothers was the same way. She had a 3-piece, floral chinz sette all the way from England, and it remained encased in it's zippered plastic pouch in her pristine living room, surrounded by expensive breakables for all the years that I was growing up. The so-called "living" room might as well have been roped off with a "do not enter. No living allowed" sign in place because she was so afraid of sullying the chairs she never sat in the room, and when company did come, they were afraid to break anything and chose to sit elsewhere. It was a great room to look at, but no amount of living was ever allowed in there.
I see this everyday around me and I used to be guilty of saving things - like my pretty, colorful dishes, which just remained in the cabinet with all the other special dishes that rarely ever got used. That is until one day I decided to throw a party for no reason and invite people over to my small apartment in the city. I wasn't the least bit concerned about them breaking and chipping as the laughter and conversation over the meal was just perfect. I'd clued in that holding onto things was akin to having a life in waiting when I needed to celebrate now, not wait for tomorrow, not on a chance that something special could happen when something special was happening all along. These are the moments of my life. I was living and breathing and those colorful dishes were meant to be eaten on, scratched and chipped - even if it were just Sunday breakfast in bed.
It's the same thing with life. It's meant to be used, to be lived in. Let's face it, you can't save it up. Every moment is meant to be experienced fully, but some people live their lives afraid to unwrap the gifts and enjoy the moments that are before them, not realizing that a life lived as if on hold is pretty much wasted time. We can't bottle time or save it up, or put it off until we are ready. Time waits for no one. The moment we are in is all that we have as these are the moments that add up to a life without regrets. So the next time you think of saving that cashmere shawl for a special time, just throw it on over your simple t-shirt and lived-in jeans, sling on your flip-flops and head out into the world. Live "in" your life.
Copyright 2008 © Dawn Prince. Not to be reprinted without expressed permission.
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