"For me, that was a liberating moment of clarity about my own body issues, which up until that point - I handled well as long as the number stayed around size 10 to 12. I was stuck and felt comfortable in that range, and I had allowed my "ideal number" to have too much power over me. "
Dawn Prince
Taking a page out of my journey and sharing my thoughts on women, love,
life and the whole darn thing. I welcome your thoughts. Email me,
Dawn at dprince at
surewoman.com
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Celebrating Ourselves
A
year ago, this May, I started this website to encourage women to let their passions and spirit soar.
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It was a knee-jerk reaction to the sadness I felt after doing a series of articles on domestic violence. The women I interviewed, after their ordeal - one of who survived being shot five times - were now confident and empowered and ready to take on the world. They'd come a long way from the days when their spirit were battered from being caught up in a cycle of violence. Gone was the helpless feeling that they weren't strong enough to break the chains that diminished their self-esteem.
I decided then that women needed to celebrate themselves, because women who are confident and women who embrace themselves are more likely to stand up for themselves - stand up against the people who break their spirit, stand up against the negative messages that they're not good enough and realize that their self-worth.
When I told a much younger friend of mine about doing a website that celebrates and honors women, her response was, "You are a feminist aren't you?"
My friend is in her mid-twenties comes from a background where women most often take a back seat. She still lives at home and is still coming into her own, and I am not quite sure she gets the thing about spirit and self as she still is not comfortablbe enough to be with herself, and she can't grasp the idea that her current boyfriend does not define who she is. I suppose embracing yourself and being comfortable with who you are comes with age and life experience, but it breaks my heart that she's accepting less than she's worth by being with someone who can't see her worth.
"What does celebrating yourself have to do with femininism?" I asked a bit perturbed at being labeled.
"I dunno, I mean you are into the I am women, hear me roar kind of thing."
"Because I stand up for myself and I love myself that supposedly makes me a feminist? I think women are beautiful and we should celebrate who we are. It's not about being feminist, it's about loving who we are and celebrating our spirit...I don't think that makes me your idea of feminism," I said, and added in the vein of a la Seinfeld, "Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"I dunno, you're just all you are strong and like women should be doing this or that...
"We should be doing this or that...'Women must not accept. They must challenge'"
"That's exactly what I am talking about...you're all feminist," she said as if I'd confirmed her point. "I'm not as strong as you, you know..."
When I tell her that she's stronger than she thinks, I can see a glint of something in her eyes, but I know in the end she thinks that my strength and outwardness equals her idea of a feminist, which is if you celebrate your strengths and being a woman, you are somehow separating yourself from other women, a lesbian or hating men. But this isn't about separating from anybody. This isn't about us and them, but about celebrating who you are. It's about the softness and the strength that we are. It's about feeding our collective souls--nourishing the woman spirit.
This little exchange with my friend stays with me because responses like hers is one of the reasons I believe women need to encourage and celebrate each other. She's afraid of showing her strength and sounding her voice. And to be honest, I was somewhat offended to be called a feminist because when some people throw that word at you, they don't see the vote and women's rights, but a bunch of women barreling their way through police baracades and the whole male bashing thing. I know feminism has brought women a long way, and I appreciate and respect that sort of committemnt and fighting spirit, but somehow feminism has become a dirty word equated with bashing men and a whole lot of issues that have become wrought in politics and controversy.
So I get a little perturbed that the moment women stand up and try to celebrate their spirit, it's not taken as embracing one's self with confidence, but it's seen as something only "those kind of women" do. All women should celebrate their spirit. Everyone should celebrate their passions, strengths and spirit. In our celebration of ourselves, we can't help but honor the people in our lives and they include men.
But there are so many wonderful things to being female - some things only another woman can understand - and a lot of times we tend to forget and lose who we are. So what is wrong with connecting and raising and celebrating our spirits? What is wrong with accepting and loving yourself? Strong, confident women make better human beings. So, if the labels are being passed around, I 'd sooner be called, a "humanist."
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